For far too long, I sought to escape the torturous grip of emotional agony, desperately clinging to my illusion of clarity. Just as those ensnared by drugs plunge into a vivid fantasy to elude the harshness of reality, I wielded my rational mind as a shield against suffering. I constructed towering walls of self-deception, striving to shut out the soul-crushing moments that haunted me.

In truth, I relied on this self-delusion to shield my delicate will from the tempest of emotions. Yet, these walls were nothing but a facade; I lacked the strength to forge a robust barrier, instead fashioning only fragile glass or balloons that could shatter at the slightest breeze. Perhaps I am not as invincible as I once believed, nor as broken and delicate as I fear. I simply stand at the edge of an unknown emotional terrain, too hesitant to confront, touch, or embrace what lies ahead.

Maybe the reality beyond my walls isn’t as terrifying as I envision; perhaps the pain we dread can reveal a tranquil beauty or a profound sense of peace worth daring to explore.